What Now?

It's been a while since I sat down and properly typed out my thoughts and got things off my chest. I definitely want to get back into this whole blogging thing and I thought what better way than to share what's been on my mind lately.

So if you've been following my existential crisis life, you may know that I've recently finished my A Level exams and I'm starting to cope with the freedom I have all of a sudden. It feel amazing to finally be done after two years and leading up to the end of 6th Form I wasn't thinking about anything else other than the white light at the end of the tunnel. Like, it didn't really occur to me that I was leaving or that I needed to start planning about what I'm doing after, I was just focused on how excited I was to get out of all the stress caused by A Levels.

But now that I actually have left I'm kinda like urrrrmmmm now what? I'll tell you guys all the plans I have for the rest of my life (like literally all my life plans):

1. Go to my 6th form leaver's ball.
2. In 2 weeks I go to Germany to visit my friends and family over there
3. In August I come back from Germany and go to Summer In The City in London
4. I come back from that and collect my exam results (bricking it!)
5. I go to Dublin for a few days

aaaannnnndddd that's about it in terms of plans for the future. I've applied to university to study psychology and I have a place for 2017 as long as I get the grades ABB. But I can't honestly say that I know university will be the right choice for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm buzzing for the student life and the parties, but that's about it. And I don't feel like it's worth £9,000 a year for a course that you don't feel is completely right for you. If I was to get a degree, it would definitely be psychology because I find the subject so interesting, but I have no idea if a degree is the right thing for my path in life. But I don't exactly know what sort of career I can get without one.

So that is why I've decided to take a gap year and just see how that works out. I was initially inspired to take one when a few years ago I started watching Jacksgap on youtube and I instantly became obsessed with their channel. I already know that my gap year wont be half as interesting as their's was but I still feel like it's something I need to to. Recovering from the stress of 6th form and actually taking the time to think about what it is I want to do can only be a good thing. 

I've literally always wanted to do something like the Rickshaw 

run but my parents aren't really on board with me doing it :(

Legit have no idea how my gap year is going to go, or the rest of my life for that matter but I do have to say I'm excited for it. Even though it's kinda daunting to have no idea what the next step is, it's actually really refreshing to be able to start from scratch and think about something new. I've literally scrapped every single life plan I've ever had in able to take this gap year, and I've decided that everything I said I was going to to after school just really isn't for me. 

Thank you so much for reading my little ramble. So now you might know why I have an internal crisis whenever someone asks me "what do you want to do with your life" because honestly I have noooooo idea. To be honest I feel like at this point if I'm not doing something random, fun and maybe even a bit silly, then I'm on the wrong path because I would really like my career path that reflects my weird little personality. The song of the day is You've Got Time (yes as in the Orange Is The New Black theme tune) because I've been watching way too much of that series lately #no regrets,

Izzy K xxx