Dance Nerves :/

By having the grace and elegance of a drunk elephant its clear to me and anyone who watches me that I can't dance. This has never really bothered before me as I like to do fun things even if I'm bad at them. 

I've been dancing, well trying to dance, since the age of 3 and never changed dance schools. I've always looked up to the older girls and there amazing dance moves and always thought that I couldn't wait till i was their age. Now it finally hit me... I am their age. However I'm like nooooowhere near as good as that. Woopsie. 

And last night my dance school had a show and usually I'm like meh doesn't matter if i mess up I've still got plenty of time to improve as I grow up. But I cant use that excuse now and be like "well I'm small so its still cute anyway" because it would look a bit ridiculous if I was to stand on stage and not having a clue what I'm doing.                                                                    

Imagine a non-cute version of this. That's me dancing!

These thoughts kept filling my mind and then I remembered that not only do I have dance in front of an audience, I also have to dance in front of my family. Who were there. On the front row. Cheering. As much as I appreciate the support, just having one of your family members in the audience adds a huge amount of pressure. 

The pressure really stopped me enjoying it especially getting ready before hand. I usaually feel nervous about performing but I've never actually felt scared before. This time I thought I was gonna be sick on stage, fall over because my legs had turned to jelly and cry with nerves.

But after just the first dance my nerves started to ease. By the end I did still make awkward eye-contact with my family but I just went along with it and enjoyed it. Afterwards I came off stage feeling so relieved and with a huge buzz. I just wish I could go back and do it all over again and make the most of it. Overall I feel much better for having done it even when I thought I really couldn't. Its things like that which are really fun and you just have to make the most of while you can and not worry about what you look like doing them as long as you enjoy yourself!

The song of the day is I like to move it as it was one of the numbers and I've had it stuck in my head ever since. Good luck listening to that song without thinking of Madagascar! 

Revising Fail

Just making the most of being on the internet as I know I soon won't be able to...

So exams are coming up, and these aren't just any old exams, oh no, these are my GCSEs. Now I know they're won't be the most important thing in my life ever and there is still much harder exams to come but OMG. I feel like if I don't do well my life is over and the 16 years I have spent on this planet have all been a waste.

Anyway back to the point I'm revising hard. Well I have to don't I. I spend a couple of hours a day revising, at least. My revision timetable is jam-packed of thing I still have left to learn.. But nothing seems to be sinking in!

This seems to be the story of my life right now

And its always fun to have to do hours of homework every evening and also be told by my teachers that they expect us to be revising more than we are. They don't consider that all I seem to be doing is revising. If you want me to revise stop setting so much homework. Its that simple. 

The subjects I take at GCSE are: Maths, English, Italian, German, ICT, history, business studies and triple science. Overall I really enjoy my subjects but the work load can be a bit demanding. Finished my studying for the day now I can finally relax (for the rest of the evening).

But soon my life will consist of just so much homework. Much revision. Such stress. (btw I think I'm getting gooder at grammar)

Literally me when I have lots of work to do

I hope to be writing more posts up until my exams but I have to make the most of it if I cant. Wish me luck (good luck Izzy!) and I just hope the results I get from my exams won't mess up the rest of my life too badly. 

The song of the day is more a cover of a song really. Its Little Mix's cover of Holy Grail/ Counting Stars/ Smells Like Teen Spirit. Say what you want about those four girls but there's no denying they have so much talent its unreal. And their voices together just make my life. 

Reasons to be happy

Being a 16 year old girl I may sometimes get the urge to complain. That's pretty normal for a teenager. But then I have a reality check and realize there's actually a lot to be happy about. I came up with 10 simple reasons why I and other people in the same situation as me should be happy. 

And without further ado here are the 10 reasons in no particular order:

• Nice weather- Although living in England, the weather is never too exciting, when it's different it does make my day. It just makes me laugh how even the slight change in temperature causes the entire country to go into *EXTREME WEATHER CONDITION MODE* even it it just means one snowflake falling on the ground. As this country is completely unprepared for anything other than an over cast it means "yay snow day" which obviously makes me very happy. 

• I have water- This only just sunk in the other day. All I have to do to ensure I stay alive is turning on a tap. I can even chose if I have a cold glass of water or a hot shower, it still comes out the tap.

Genius invention!

• THE INTERNET- honestly I don't know how people lived without it as my entire spare time is spent watching countless hours of videos... mainly of cats.

• Food- Eating is not only essential to me, its also a hobby. Some of my personal favorites include: Nandos, pasta, chocolate and pizza. Just finding out I'll have any of these for my meal brings joy to my life. 

• Music- There's a song for every emotion. When your happy the best way to stay happy is to listen to music. Even on a bad day, listening to sad songs and hearing your feelings being sung just makes everything better.

• Friends and family- I know that wherever I am and whatever happens I will always have someone to turn to that will make me smile (its unreal how cheesy I can be sometimes!)

• Opportunities- I live in an environment where there is an opportunity around every corner, if you look for them. I know that I have the chance to do whatever I want in life. Now I just have to find out what it is I want to do...

• I'm healthy- I may have the odd headache or sniffles occasionally but that's nothing compared to the illnesses and diseases some people have. This is something I don't take for granted.

• I'm alive- Think about it for a moment... YOU ARE A LIVING BEING. That means you have the chance to live and have fun in life. #YOLO. Ok I hate myself for using that phrase but honestly, you do only live once so why not make the most of that one life you get?

Me realizing I should make the most of my life

• Every problem I will ever have is just a first world problem- This is something I think about everyday without fail. Whenever I feel like complaining or think that I have it bad I just remember that whatever problem I face, that is nothing compared to what some people have to deal with everyday of their life.

This is the picture by Banksy that literally changed my entire attitude. 

There is nothing more important when you're feeling upset and unfortunate to look at your life and see everything you have to be grateful for. Aaaannd the song of the day is Happy by Pharrell Williams.

My "Comfort" Zone

OK so this blog is probably going to be the cheesiest thing I have ever written in my life. Like seriously cheddar cheesy but its been something that's been on my mind for quite some time so here I go...

Maybe I'll move here- Cheddar Gorge (haha see what I did there)

I have always been crazy. As in completely insane and not remotely normal. However I like to keep this a little secret between me and and few select friends who know me well. You see I like to stay quiet.

Doing crazy, weird, fun things is my favorite thing in the world. The problem is these things attract attention to me but I don't like the attention that comes with it. I absolutely hate any sort attention on me. Like I seriously die whenever a teacher asks me a question and the whole class falls silent to hear my answer and my reaction is just: "urrmm *insert cricket noises here*".

My face when everyone focuses their attention on me

The thing is I'm not a quiet person. My close friends and family actually have a pretty hard time shutting me up. Its just that I'm a particularly shy person and I don't like people judging me so I try and act like I don't exist. I find it harder to speak up around people I know. For example I think it the people that I've been going to school for years now that never hear me speak would find it stranger if I suddenly started talking more than a person who never met me before. 

That's the reason I like to stick to my comfort zone. But by doing this I'm feeling that I miss out on soooo much. So I've come up with a way that I think will build up my confidence slowly but surely. Simply doing one thing a day that is out of my comfort zone no matter how big or small it is. Then hopefully I'll eventually have the confidence to be myself around people. These things could be:

• Talking to a different person- even if it's just asking them for a pencil
• Attempting to post YouTube videos- even if their not very good
• Posting things generally around the internet such as more tweets- This way I wont come home and feel like I've disappeared of the face of the earth because no one knows I'm there.
• Acting weird in front of strangers because I'll never see them again
• Working on my phobias such as heights.

Phew that feels good to finally have a little plan to go by!

The song of the day is Let the Sun Shine by Labrinth. It's not really relevant but its a proper feel good song

Im "That" Person

Writing this post may reveal confessions to which I am most, most ashamed of. After I finish this I might have to sit down and think long and hard about my life choices.

For years I've always thought to myself how these ridiculous, rubbish, terrible crazes start and become popular. I'm talking mostly about songs and television programs. I never understood it... until now!

When I was trying to figure out how stupid things became popular

Then it happened. I had and epiphany and I realized who it was that get these song into the charts. It's me!(OH MY LIFE)

How come I never realized before? 

During procrastinating over my German homework I innocently decided to listen to music. Before I knew it I was listening to Justin Bieber song after Justin Bieber song. Then I knew but the worst thing wasn't even that I was listening to him, it was that I knew every lyric. To every song. (what is my life?)

Remembering the lyrics to a song you haven't heard in ages

I have so many guilty pleasures when it comes to music. I loves myself a bit of cheesy music such as: Sclub7, Wheatus, the Spice Girls, Disney and of course Justin Bieber. Its just got to the point where I have to embrace it. 

Does anybody else have little guilty pleasures when it comes to music or is it just me?

The song of the day is Justin Bieber's classic, Baby!

Lately I Been, I Been Losing Sleep...

...Dreaming about the things that we could be. But baby I been I been praying hard. Said no more counting dollars we'll be counting starts! Sorry got carried away that's such a good song *goes to listen to One Republic album*

Anyway what I really wanted to say was how difficult I can find it to get to sleep some nights. Well... most nights. *WARNING- this post will be rather unstructured, rambly and quite random as it was written after a long day that started with waking up at 3.45am completely out of the blue*

This picture describes perfectly how sleeping feels for me

I spend all day counting down the hours, the minutes and then finally the seconds until I can go back to bed but then what happens? As soon as my head hits the pillow my mind decides to wake up! Even the smallest things can keep me up all night. Some most pathetic examples of what keeps me up are: I forgot to pack my school bag for the next day, I forgot to do my homework, I forgot to brush my teeth. 

I think my problem is being obsessive. I get worried over the smallest thing and wont be able to do anything until I've finished what I had to do. 

The second problem is I'm pretty hyper (at times). Listening to music to relax only makes things worse. Much worse! It puts me in a happy, jammy, excited mood and then there's no chance on earth that I will be going to sleep that evening.

Ever listen to a really good song and then you have this reaction?

And the problem it causes is I feel like I'm in a trance the entire time so I cant even be myself. It seems that people only know me a half asleep zombie Izzy, not actual Izzy. 

This is the most accurate picture I can find of what I look and feel like during the school day

Anyway I didn't come here to complain, just get something off my chest. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like this and I'm still searching for the answer to be able to get to sleep before 12.30am. 

Until then, good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite

And to no one's surprise the song of the day is *insert drum roll noises*...COUNTING STARS BY ONE REPUBLIC. 

Songs Can Relate To Anything

Often, when I listen to song I'm like "oh wait, this song is about me" or "this song is just how I'm feeling" or "OMG that just happened". And then it hit me- WHAM- songs can literally be about anything and about anyone. Here are just a few songs that I feel are relatable at times and that I burst out singing when I feel it's relevant. 

• I have the terrible habit of whenever someone says to me "question..." to start singing "tell me what you think about me, I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings" from Independent Woman by Destiny Child. 

• When someone asks me what time it is I simply reply "SUMMER TIME, ITS OUR VACATION, WHAT TIME IS IT, PARTY TIME THAT'S RIGHT SAY IT LOUD". That little gem is from High School Musical 2 and that one has the best effect if you shout it full volume to catch people by surprise.

• Walking down the crowded corridors at school and feeling like I've had my personal space violated in every way possible and the only thing that goes through my mind are the lyrics from Ludacris's truly inspirational song, Move. I don't think I even need to explain why. 

• One thing that really gets on my nerves is when people constantly talk over you and you just cant get a word in edge-ways. But no worries I came up with the perfect solution. So from now on whenever people talk over me I'll simply belt out the entire lyrics to Beyonce's Listen with a dead serious, emotional face full of soul. That's sure to make everyone stop what their doing to well... listen. 

• I hate it when  people try and push in front of you at a queue and your standing there at first like "urrm no. Can you not?!" And then the song Jar of Hearts by Christina Perry springs to mind when I'm like "and who do you think you are?" I mean, aint nobody gonna push in front of me when I'm trying to buy anything (I say anything the real problem is when I'm trying to buy food)

• When people ask me why I'm so weird, and this will usually happen daily I find the best reply is to just sing (and dance of course) to Lady Gaga's Born This Way. 

• To that person in every class who insists on answering to everything the teachers says, EVEN WHEN ITS NOT A QUESTION, I dedicate the following song to you: Shut Up by the Black Eyed Peas

• I love browsing through clothes in shops. The key word here is browsing because there is no way I can afford anything at the moment. Then a beautiful item of clothing wildly appears in front of me, I go to buy it but see the price tag. After seeing how much it actually is I reluctantly have to place it back which would be the perfect opportunity for Adele to appear out of the blue uninvited (hahaha I'm so clever thinking of that) and sing "never mind I'll find someone like you..."

• I find that the best way to let people know that I'm stealing one of their possessions (only innocent stuff like pencils or rubbers) is singing "look at this stuff, isn't it neat, wouldn't it make my collection complete" from the song Part Of Your World from The Little Mermaid. 

• And finally, the worst thing someone can do around me is start a sentence with "sometimes" because there is no way on earth I can allow myself to let them finish without singing You Got the Love by Florence and the Machine.

So anyway, that's what just goes through my mind during those suituations. I'm so normal right? Right? hahahaha... *laughs unconvinced* 

A feature I did in my last blog was the song of there day and I thought this was a nice feature to continue with. The song of the day today has to be Billionaire by Bruno Mars. Its an olden but a classic.